Blood in the Bathroom

Barry Roux, Defendant: My Lady, I heard a noise from the bathroom, I thought somebody was climbing in through the bathroom window.

Garrie Nel, Prosecutor: Why should anybody want to climb in through your bathroom window?

Barry Roux: My Lady, so many people wanted to kidnap my girlfriend, the beautiful Constitution. My lady, I had sworn to protect my Constitution, but I had enemies who wanted to abduct her and misuse and abuse her. So when I heard a noise from the bathroom, My Lady, I was terrified. In the pitch black of the night, I picked up my gun, then picked up my legs, and moved stealthily to the bathroom.

  GarrieNel: Mr Pistorius, who are these enemies you are so afraid of?

Barry Roux: They are so many, My Lady. But the worst is Technical Committee. He has sworn to steal my Constitution from me, and subject her to his will and base lusts and desires, and to turn her into his slave. My Lady, I had to protect my beautiful Constitution.

Nel: And tell, Mr Pistorius, why were you so in love with your Constitution?

Barry Roux: My lady, when I am with my Constitution I am a real man. She gives me my power. With my beautiful Constitution everybody looks up to me, I command the universe, and people obey my every command. This Technical Committee wanted to steal my power.

Nel: So now, without your Constitution, you are a broken man?

Barry Roux: Yes, My Lady. (Sobs for a couple of minutes into his handkerchief)

Nel: OK, so now you reach for your gun and make for the bathroom. Was Constitution lying on the bed?

Barry Roux: No, My Lady, she was not on the bed.

Nel: Ha ha, how do you know that? You said the night was pitch black!

Barry Roux: She always slept under the bed, My Lady, she was so afraid of Technical Committee.

Nel: So did you look under the bed to check if she was there?

Barry Roux: Yes, My Lady. But I couldn’t see her because the night was pitch black.

Nel: So you went to the bathroom door and fired four shots straight through it.

Barry Roux: Yes, My Lady. I had to protect my Constitution.

Nel: Did anybody scream?

Barry Roux: Yes My Lady, I screamed because I was terrified. Then I screamed at Constitution to phone the machete Force on 991. But she didn’t reply. It was then that I became terrified that I had shot my beloved Constitution.

Nel: Then you went and got your machete and hacked a hole in the door, only to find our beautiful Constitution blown to pieces, with blood all over the bathroom floor.

Now a court official obligingly placed a green plastic bucket in front of Mr Pistorius, so that he could have a prolonged vomit. After he had finally recovered himself the cross-examination continued… 

Nel: I put it to you, Mr Pistorius, that you have misled this court. I put it to you that our beloved Constitution did not come to your house of her own free will, but you kidnapped her and brought her to your house.

Barry Roux: No, My Lady, it’s not true. I always respected my beloved Constitution, she came to my house to give me a Valentine’s present.

Nel: I put it to you, Mr Pistorius, that you wanted an opportunity to accuse her of breaking her promises to you. You were jealous because she had left you and was instead dating Technical Committee. And you were also in a rage because Technical Committee had transformed her by the power of love. She was so now so beautiful and so admired by everybody that she became known as People’s Constitution. But you were so jealous that you kidnapped her, to get her back.

Barry RouxIt’s not true, My Lady. I never kidnapped her. She came to visit me because she loved me.

Nel: I put it to you, Mr Pistorius, that you had a shouting match with Constitution that night, because you had fallen into a jealous rage after she left you for Technical Committee. When she refused to come back to you, you threatened her with a gun.

Barry Roux: No, My Lady. That was not possible. I loved my Constitution.

Nel: And when she tried to run away from you, and locked herself in the bathroom, you fired through the door and murdered her.

Barry Roux: (Head in hands, sobbing) No, no, no, My Lady. I thought I was protecting my beloved Constitution from Technical Committee who had come to abduct her.

Nel: No, no, no! It seems that everything is no, Mr Pistorius! But perhaps on one thing we can agree: The People’s Constitution is now dead.

Barry Roux: (Now slowly looking up towards the judge) Yes, My Lady, on that we can agree. The People’s Constitution is now dead.

Nel: And you murdered her.

Barry Roux: No, My Lady, it was an accident.